Holidays, Hugs & (A Little) Havoc: How to Stay Grounded and Connected This Season

The holiday season is here - twinkling lights, delicious food, family gatherings, and just a touch of chaos. Whether you're celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or simply the beauty of the winter break, this time of year can bring both joy and juggling.

Between coordinating schedules, visiting in-laws, entertaining kids, and trying to keep everyone happy (including yourself!), it's easy to feel like you need a nap before the festivities even begin. So before you reach for that third cup of peppermint coffee (or mulled wine), here are five therapist-approved tips to help couples and families keep the holidays meaningful, balanced, and maybe even fun.

1. Pick What Really Matters

The holidays can turn into a marathon of obligations if you're not careful. Sit down as a couple or family and decide what actually matters most.

Is it quiet time at home? Seeing loved ones? Slowing down together?

Once you know your priorities, you can say "no" (gently!) to the rest.

Bonus resource: Psychiatrist Dr. Anuradha Kabra shares practical ways to say no kindly and set boundaries with family members and friends:

https://www.amahahealth.com/blog/how-to-politely-say-no-practical-guide/

2. Communicate Before the Chaos

A little conversation goes a long way. Talk early about where you'll celebrate, who you'll visit, and what traditions you'll keep. Be honest about what feels doable - and what doesn't.

Present a united front when navigating extended family expectations. It's much easier to set boundaries when you're on the same page as your partner.

3. Build in Breathers

Between the travel, cooking, socializing, and the same family stories you've already heard ten times, you're allowed to take a break.

Step outside for a short walk, light a candle, take a few mindful breaths, or sneak in a quiet moment with your partner after the kids go to bed.

Small pauses help to regulate your nervous system and bring you back to the present.

4. Embrace the Imperfection

The holidays are not about perfection - they're about presence (not presents, though kids may disagree!). The food might burn, the kids might melt down, and someone might bring up politics at dinner.

Breathe. Laugh. Move on.

The most meaningful moments often come from the unplanned: laughing over a dropped cookie tray or eating dinner by candlelight because the power went out.

5. Focus on Connection, Not Performance

At their heart, the holidays are about connection. Whether it's family, friends, or chosen family, lean into the people and traditions that bring warmth and belonging. (If you're Christian, this season is especially about celebrating Jesus' birth and nurturing a spiritual connection).

Try this: Share one thing you're grateful for or one memory you loved from the past year. It instantly grounds the room in what matters most.

Whatever or however you celebrate, give yourself permission to slow down, set boundaries, and make room for joy in whatever form it takes. Hold hands under the table, share a laugh when things go sideways, and find little moments of magic in the mess.

Wishing you peace, laughter, and light this holiday season.

- Written by Mathilde Beauvais (Program Co-Ordinator) and Edited by Melissa Johari (Founder and Clinic Director)